I’m the clumsiest person you’ll ever meet. Some of this is due to a lack of equilibrium from chronic ear infections and a malformed ear canal. But most of it is due to not paying attention.
Ironically, I’ve spent most of my life engaged in very dangerous activities that range from breaking mustangs to racing motocross.
Despite my affinity for danger, my worst injuries were so ridiculous that I don’t even want to talk about them… I will, though, because I love you guys and enjoy making you laugh.
So, in no particular order, here are my worst injuries and how I received them.
Broke collarbone while walking down street
Yes, I once broke my collarbone walking down the street. To add insult to injury, I was collecting for multiple sclerosis when it happened.
My cousin and I had completed a long walk to raise funds for the group, and as we walked the neighborhood to collect our hard-earned rewards and do our part to cure disease, I joyfully kicked a rock along the road. All was going splendidly well until my foot hit the pavement before it hit the rock and I tripped, landing on a giant curb and severely breaking my collarbone.
My cousin, terrified at my injury, promptly ran away. I was left alone to walk over a mile to my home (thanks in large part to being in shock).
When I entered the house, my mom – who was on the phone with my dad- took one look at me and said, “I have to go, Stacy broke her collarbone.” Suddenly, I realized what happened and I immediately broke into tears. Interestingly enough, I didn’t feel a thing prior to my mom telling me it was broken.
Needless to say, that was the bumpiest and most painful ride to the ER ever (that was back when parents actually drove their kids to the hospital).
Concussion from cow skull falling on my head
I have long been fascinated by animals as you well know from my work with PetsWeekly and Shepherd’s Moon . For this reason, and the fact that I live in the Southwest where these types of things are considered normal, I have a few skulls on my office wall. Not people skulls, cow skulls and coyote skulls, things like that. I know, it’s a little weird, but I find them on my hikes through the desert. Skeletal remains are quite common in the desert and easy to find if you know where to look.
At any rate, I’ve amassed a collection of skeletal remains. Once I locate the skulls (other animals usually get to them long before I locate the remains, so they are always in pieces), I take them home, bleach them out and usually find a nice place in the office or the yard for them.
That said, I used to have the giant skull of a steer on my wall. But, one day, I was on the phone with a good friend when the conversation ended abruptly after it fell off my wall and knocked me out cold.
Obviously, not my proudest moment… And I have since stopped putting things up on the walls of my office.
Hospitalized for cat bite
The only thing worse than a cat bite is a human bite. That gives you some indication as to why cat bites should be treated right away.
I learned that the hard way when I tried to vaccinate a half-wild cat.
“He only weighs 12 lbs, how bad could a bite be?” I asked my friend.
As it turns out, pretty bad… Especially when you don’t get it treated right away and especially when it penetrates the bones in your hand.
By the next morning, my hand was three times it’s normal size and I wound up on IV antibiotics for three days. A friend of mine lost a finger due to a cat bite, so I still consider myself very lucky…
Moral of the story: treat everything.
So, that’s about it. My worst injuries.
What was your worst injury?